Peg after peg

 I never take risk while drinking

 When I come from office in the evening, wife is cooking
 I can hear the noise of utensils in the kitchen
 I stealthily enter the house
 Take out the bottle from my black cupboard
 Shivaji Maharaj is looking at me from the photo frame
 But still no one is aware of it
 Becoz I never take a risk

 I take out the glass from the rack above the old sink
 Quickly enjoy one peg
 Wash the glass and again keep it on the rack
 Of course I also keep the bottle inside my cupboard
 Shivaji Maharaj is giving a smile

 I peep into the kitchen
 Wife is cutting potatoes
 No one is aware of what I did
 Becoz I never take a risk

 I: Any news on Iyer's daughter's marriage
 Wife: Nope, she doesn't seem to be that lucky. Still they are
 looking out for her

 I again come out; there is a small noise of the black cupboard
 But I don't make any sound while taking out the bottle
 I take out the glass from the old rack above sink
 Quickly enjoy one peg

 Wash the bottle and keep it in the sink
 Also keep the Black Glass in the cupboard
 But still no one is aware of what I did
 Becoz I never take a risk

 I: But still I think Iyer's daughter's age is not that much
 Wife: What are you saying? She is 28 yrs old... like an aged horse
 I: (I forgot her age is 28) Oh Oh...

 I again take out potatoes out from my black cupboard
 But the cupboard's place has automatically changed
 I take out the bottle from the rack and quickly enjoy 
 one peg in the sink

 Shivaji Maharaj laughs loudly
 I keep the rack in the potatoes wash Shivaji Maharaj's photo keep  it in the black cupboard

 Wife is keeping the sink on the stove
 But still no one is aware of what I did
 Becoz I never take a risk

 I: (getting angry) you call Mr. Iyer a horse? If you say that again,
 Iwill cut your tongue...!
 Wife: Don't just blabber something, go out and sit quietly...

 I take out the bottle from the potatoes
 Go in the black cupboard and enjoy a peg
 Wash the sink and keep it over the rack
 Wife is giving a smile

 Shivaji Maharaj is still cooking
 But still no one is aware of what I did
 Becoz I never take a risk

 I: (laughing) So Iyer is marrying a horse!!
 Wife: Hey go and sprinkle some water on your face...

 I again go to the kitchen, and quietly sit on the rack
 Stove is also on the rack
 There is a small noise of bottles from the room outside

 I peep and see that wife is enjoying a peg in the sink
 But none of the horses are aware of what I did
 Becoz Shivaji Maharaj never takes a risk

 Iyer is still cooking
 And I am looking at my wife from the photo and laughing
 Becoz I never take what???

Shopping and Men

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.
************************************************************
Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2 . July 2 : Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

14. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

15. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Regards,
Tom Richards
Walmart Manager

Worest Blunders In Football ...

Brilliantly Confusing picture

Brilliantly Confusing picture

 

Miss Those Days

Official Google Blog: Where is Georgia on Google Maps?

The recent conflict in Georgia has raised some questions about how Google Maps has handled mapping in that part of the world.
The most obvious question is, why doesn't Google Maps show any cities or roads for Georgia, or its neighbors Armenia and Azerbaijan? The answer is we never launched coverage in those countries because we simply weren't satisfied with the map data we had available. We're constantly searching for the best map data we can find, and sometimes will delay launching coverage in a country if we think we can get more comprehensive data. Some of our customers have asked if we removed map data from any of these countries in response to the recent hostilities in that region and I can assure you that is not the case. Data for these countries were never on Google Maps in the first place.

Read More: Official Google Blog: Where is Georgia on Google Maps?

TWO MOONS on 27th August

I got a mail saying , Two moons on 27th August..

But its not true as per about.com, this is a rumor from 2003.

http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/errata/a/two-moons.htm


27th Aug the Whole World is waiting for.............
 
Planet Mars will be the brightest in the night sky starting August. It will look as large as the full moon to the naked eye. This will cultivate on Aug. 27 when Mars comes within 34.65M miles off earth. Be sure to watch the sky on Aug. 27 12:30 am. It will look like the earth has 2 moons.

The next time Mars may come this close is in 2287.

Share this with your friends as NO ONE ALIVE TODAY will ever see it again.

Super Road - Want to ride on this?

This video is forwarded to me with the subject "Future Pune Roads". I think this is from some other country other than India.

Google Translate now for iPhone

Official Google Mobile Blog: Google Translate now for iPhone

Speed Bump Warning

Salary Increment

Lovely Message on LIFE

THIS IS HOW WE MISS OUT SOMETHING CALLED "LIFE"4

A boy was born to a couple after eleven years of marriage. They were a loving couple and the boy was the gem of their eyes. When the boy was around two years old, one morning the husband saw a medicine bottle open. He was late for office so he asked his wife to cap the bottle and
keep it in the cupboard. His wife, preoccupied in the kitchen totally forgot the matter. The boy saw the bottle and playfully went to the bottle fascinated by its color and drank it all. It happened to be a poisonous medicine meant for adults in small dosages. When the child collapsed the mother hurried him to the hospital, where he died. The mother was stunned. She was terrified how to face her husband. When the distraught father came to the hospital and saw the dead child, he looked
at his wife and uttered just five words.

QUESTIONS :
1. What were the five words ?
2. What is the implication of this story?

ANSWER :
The husband just said "I am with you Darling"

The husband's totally unexpected reaction is a proactive behavior. The child is dead. He can never be brought back to life. There is no point in finding fault with the mother.
Besides, if only he had taken time to keep the bottle away, this would not have happened. No one is to be blamed. She had also lost her only child. What she needed at that moment was consolation and sympathy from the husband. That is what he gave her.

If everyone can look at life with this kind of perspective, there would be much fewer problems in the world. "A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step". Take off all your envies, jealousies,
unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears. And you will find things are actually not as difficult as you think.

MORAL OF THE STORY:

This story is really worth reading. ..... Sometimes we spend time in asking who is responsible or whom to blame, whether in a relationship, in a job or with the people we know.

By this way we miss out something called L.I.F.E.

Amazing elephant!!

Software Engineer

A Software Engineer dies in a accident and finds himself at the heavens door "Pearly Gates".  A beautiful music is being played and all angels are dancing around and singing his name. There is a huge crowd and everyone is screaming his name. The engineer is very delighted and surprised.

Then he sees "Saint Peter" rushing towards him and shakes his hand and says, "Congratulations my son, we have been waiting a very long time to meet you".

The engineer is very embarrassed and asks "Saint Peter, congratulations for what? I honestly didn't do much while I was alive. Then why is all this?"

Saint Peter totally amazed says, "Congratulations for what!!! We're celebrating the fact that you lived for 260 years! .... GOD himself wants to meet you!"

The engineer looks perplexed, "but Saint Peter, I only lived until 36 years"

Saint peter is shocked "This is impossible son. We have added up all your timesheets" ... :-)

Honey..!! The ultimate one..!!

An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one evening.

He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request to his wife
with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling,   Sweetheart,  Pumpkin, etc.

The couple had been married almost 70 years and clearly, they were still very much in love.

While the wife was in  the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those loving pet names' The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10  years ago and I'm scared to death to ask her what it is!'

Sunset at the North Pole - Amazing

The height of perfection

Marc Faber comment on US economy

Dr. Marc Faber concluded his monthly bulletin (June 2008) with the Following:

''The federal government is sending each of us a $600 rebate. If we spend that money at Wal-Mart, the money goes to China. If we spend it on gasoline it goes to the Arabs. If we buy a computer it will go to India. If we purchase fruit and vegetables it will go to Mexico, Honduras and Guatemala. If we purchase a good car it will go to Germany. If we purchase useless crap it will go to Taiwan and none of it will help the American economy. The only way to keep that money here at home is to spend it on prostitutes and beer, since these are the only products still produced in US. I've been doing my part.'

Attention please..

Don't eat kurkure because it contains high amount of plastic if U don't believe burn kurkure n u can see plastic melting. Please forward to all!!!!!!!!!!!

News report from Times of India

Avoid these tablets they are very dangerous

D cold

Vicks action- 500

Actified

Coldarin

Cosome

Nice

Nimulid

Cetrizet-D

They contain Phenyl- Propanol -Amide PPA.Which Causes strokes, and these tablets are banned in U.S.

Cotton Ear Buds... (Must read it)

Please do not show sympathy to people selling buds on roadside or at Signals.....

Just wanted to warn you people not to buy those packs of ear buds you get at the roadside. It's made from cotton that has already been used in hospitals.

They take all the dirty, blood and pus filled cotton, wash it, bleach it and use it to make ear buds. So, unless you want to become the first person in the world to get Herpes Zoster Oticus (a viral infection of the inner, middle, and external ear) of the ear and that too from a cotton bud, DON'T BUY THEM!

Please forward to all. This may be helpful for someone………..